Thursday, September 17, 2009
As if her brain was helping her along, the Elvis Presley tune “It’s Now or Never” started playing in her head. She couldn’t just let this night end here, hoping for a phone number or a second date, no matter what any relationship book or well-intentioned friend might have urged.
“So...” Kate began, not quite sure how to finish. Smiling into his half empty glass, and scooping out an ice cube, he picked up where she had left off. “You ready to head home yet?” She held back a smile, and managed to respond with a nonchalant “Not really.”
He gave her a sly little smile. “Neither am I. Let’s go.” With that, he stood up, downed the rest of his water and grabbed her by the hand. She grabbed her purse just before he helped her out of the booth, and asked him where they were going. “You let me worry about the details” he mysteriously replied, and at that point she was glad she was a step behind him, because the smile on her face would have told him more than he needed to know at that point.
He led Kate out the front door to the parking lot, and right up to a nicely restored, black ’65 Mustang. Opening the passenger door for her, he bowed and said “After you.” “Why thank you, sir” she offered back, and with a little curtsy she lowered herself into the car. As he shut the door, reality struck. It was almost 2am, and she would need to be getting home soon. Why couldn’t this all have started sooner?
She felt the car jostle slightly as he opened the door and slid into the driver’s seat. He flashed another one of those brilliant smiles and started the car. The engine rumbled with a smooth, loud purr as he backed out of his spot. She was obviously still thinking about her curfew, because he caught a hint of it on her face. “What’s wrong? Are you nervous?” he teased. She relaxed a bit at that, inhaling deep and enjoying the antique smell of the vintage car. “That’s not it” Kate said. “It’s just that… well, I can’t be out too much later.” She was sure that he picked up on her disappointment. She just hoped it didn’t come across too strong. “Oh, don’t worry about that. I’ll get you back to your car before pumpkin time.” She giggled a little, and he laughed in return, placing his hand on her thigh, just above her knee, and giving her a little squeeze. She caught her breath at that moment, not expecting so friendly a touch from him. But she was so glad he did it.
From then on they drove in silence to the mysterious destination he had in mind. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence, though. The windows were down, allowing the night breeze to flow freely throughout the car; the air was dry and the perfect mix of cool and warm. He hadn’t removed his hand from her thigh yet, and so Kate took a chance and moved her left hand alongside her leg just close enough to barely brush his fingers, and he did just as she hoped, taking her hand in his, lacing his fingers between hers. She felt her heart race a little and smiled, but out of the corner of her eye caught him glancing over at her. Kate’s gaze met Wyatt’s, and gave her a wink as he squeezed her hand. So far, this had been the perfect night.
As they came up to a stoplight Kate looked around and noticed they were near the entrance to the state park. Wyatt yielded then continued, taking a right at the light. Just past that light, though, he took a quick left and she knew where he was going. It was a little wooded area right along the Rock River where casual fishers sometimes visited. Kate remembered fishing there a time or two.
Coming down the winding drive to the parking stalls, Wyatt pulled up and parked horizontal to the curb, ignoring the faded lines marking how he should park, and turned off the car. “Come on” he said, as he reached across her midsection with his free hand, letting the weight of his body rest heavy against hers. Then he flipped up the handle and opened her door from the inside. Before she knew it, he was back in his seat and opening his own door. Kate set her purse on the floorboard and stepped out of the car. She was almost immediately met by Wyatt, who had swiftly arrived just in time to shut her door for her. He once again took her by the hand and headed down to the edge of the tree line and toward the river. ‘I like this’ Kate thought to herself as she followed Wyatt to the water’s edge. It was a full moon that night, and it reflected off the still, glassy surface of the river like a bright white sun.
She found herself mesmerized by it, almost as she had been by Wyatt at the beginning of the night. That had her following him blindly, without any care of her own about watching her step. As luck would have it, her luck anyway, her right foot met up with a firmly planted but upraised root and she nearly fell, face first, into the moist earth. Nearly, that is, because somehow she ended up in Wyatt’s arms instead. He had managed to take a knee and scoop her up into his arms before she actually hit the ground, or even came close.
“Whoops” he said, as he chuckled softly. Kate began to protest about the dark of the night and the height of the root, but Wyatt simply held up a finger and mouthed “Shhh.” He lifted Kate to her feet with ease and walked her, his arm securely around her waist, a little further until they came to a tree. It was alive, but partially uprooted. The trunk of the lazy tree lay across the ground, as the branches raised upward, rising higher as they jutted out over the water.
The first of the branches were low and strong enough to hold both of them. Instead, Wyatt gentlemanly held her hand and helped her atop the nearest branch. It was high enough so that they were now about eye level with each other. From her perch she stared out at the eerily calm water and shivered slightly. It wasn’t chilly, really, but there was a cool breeze that the fabric of her three-quarter sleeve shirt wasn’t able to fend off. Wyatt moved into position behind her and wrapped his arms around her body snugly. The heat coming from his body warmed her with a quickness, and she could have melted right there in his arms.
Just then, he leaned in and whispered in her ear. “This is one of my favorite places in the whole world”, he admitted. “It’s beautiful”, Kate agreed. “But it’s so much more than that!” With a childlike excitement, he continued. “Close your eyes, Kate”, he whispered. She of course obeyed. Craning his neck to make sure she did as he asked, he went on. “Now, just listen.”
Kate took a deep breath and did just that. The breeze brushed across her body a little more noticeably, she thought, but that might just be a heightening of her senses. She could hear the leaves rustle softly, but distinctly, all around her, and she could even hear the occasional splash of a fish jumping out of the water somewhere nearby. The normally overpowering song of the cicadas sounded more rhythmic, melodic even, with the croak of some amphibian breaking into the melody now and again.
She could smell the moisture in the air, mixed with the crispness of the cool foliage, the earthy aroma of the moist ground, and the scent of him. It was some cologne, to be sure, but she couldn’t tell which, but there was also something more, something… warm, spicy, and sweet. And even though the scent was faint now, it was almost intoxicating. Mixed with the natural scents in the night air it was downright exhilarating.
She reached her arms around her waist, tracing the length of his arms. Finally reaching his hands, she laced her fingers between his. She could hear her heart, thumping louder and faster in her chest as he rested his chin on her shoulder and wrapped his arms tighter around her. He drew her body closer to his own with that, and she could feel the thumping of his heart against her back. She could have sworn she felt it quicken when hers did.
As she sat there, taking in deep lung fulls of his luscious scent and leaning back into his sturdy frame, a sobering thought came into focus. Sitting up like a shot she asked “What time is it?” “Almost 2:45.” “Gah!” She sighed heavily as she slumped back into his arms for one last time. “I hate to say this, but… I’ve got to go.”
She was expecting words when his body replied instead. He swept her up into her arms and turned back to face the way they came and started heading back. “That’s okay, it is getting pretty late. Besides, I knew I couldn’t keep you out here forever.” He looked down at her and gave her his goofy, playful smile again, and she couldn’t help but giggle. If it had been some other time in her life, she would have gladly stayed at her perch in that tree, in his arms until morning.
As it was, she was glad for the time they had. And she liked where she was now: her less than frail frame draped across his arms, being whisked away effortlessly back to his car. ‘He really makes great time’ she mused, seeming to recall that it took much longer to get to the tree than it had taken to get back to his car.
He set her on her feet and opened her door for her once again as he headed around to the other side and got in himself. The sound of their doors slamming shut echoed as one, and before she knew it the car had rumbled to life and they were heading back up the twisting little exit and back to the main road. As he checked for traffic he caught a glimpse of the disappointment on her face, and replaced his hand back on her thigh, palm up this time, beckoning with his fingers for her hand. She smiled and placed her hand on his, and they rode in silence back to Kate’s car.
She was starting to get butterflies in her stomach as they cruised closer and closer to the bar where they had started, and of course, her car, because it meant that all of this would soon end. So the butterflies weren’t the welcome kind, but more like the nerve-wracking how-will-I-know-if-I’ll-ever-see-him-again kind. She hated this feeling, because it meant that she had let herself fall too hard, too fast for this guy whom she barely knew. Not that she was a stranger to this sort of thing, but it never ended well when it started this way.
Kate could tell by the scenery that they were mere minutes from her car. Her brain raced to think of some plan, or scheme, or Hail Mary play that might guarantee her another meeting with Wyatt. He must have sensed something was going on. Wyatt squeezed Kate’s hand again, running his thumb back and forth across the back of her hand and smiled, never taking his eyes from the road. “There’ll be other nights” he reassured her. She let out a breath she didn’t realize she had been holding and her heart jumped a beat because, as had happened so many other times tonight, his words seemed to come in answer to her thoughts.
But then a slew of crazy thoughts started running through her head, thoughts of Wyatt as a serial killer, a married man just looking for fun, and a number of other equally ridiculous possibilities. Fortunately, her better sense broke through her tirade of insane thoughts. ‘Why am I doing this? Isn’t this what I’ve hoped for all night: a second date?’ It had been, of course. Honestly, after a night like tonight she’d have liked nothing short of a marriage proposal, but she would settle for another night with him.
Wyatt pulled into the lot and began, “So, let me guess…” He let the car idle in place for a moment as they both spotted the only car left in the lot. She laughed a nervous little chuckle and squeezed his hand. He laughed, too, as he pulled up along the driver’s side of her car and threw the gear into park. She grabbed her purse and checked the floor by her feet, making sure she wasn’t forgetting anything. She was also trying to stall for time. In fact, she was so engrossed in her stalling technique that she didn’t even notice he had gotten out of the car and already made his way over to her side. She gasped and practically leapt out of her seat when her door swung open.
“Lose something?” Wyatt asked. “Nope. Just making sure I have everything.” Kate quickly stepped out of the car, but not before she took Wyatt’s outstretched hand. He still had a hold of it after he had shut her door, and he gently spun her around to face him directly. “Kate” he said, in that silky tone she remembered from earlier this evening, “I had an amazing time tonight.” His eyes shone and twinkled as he spoke, and she saw the tiniest hint of him biting his lower lip. She couldn’t tear her eyes from his face. She reached down and grabbed for his other hand. “So did I. It was really one of the best times I’ve had in a long time.” Kate looked down as she embarrassingly admitted that last bit, but Wyatt reached up and took her face in his left hand. He traced his fingers along her jaw from her ear to her chin, held her chin between his fingers and lifted her head so she’d be looking at him once again. “Let’s do this again sometime.” Wyatt smiled at her and, with her hand still in his, placed their hands around her waist. “Deal.”
Wyatt let go of her chin and let his hand wander around to the back of her neck where her started running his fingers through her hair and pulled her in close for a hug. He freed her other hand so she could wrap her arms around him. She couldn’t pinpoint what she was feeling at that moment. She felt warm. She felt safe. And she felt, she knew, that he was different. She could tell that he just might be the real deal. Everything about him, his words, his touch, his eyes, they held so much honesty that she gave up trying to fight against it. At least for right now, for that moment, she was going to enjoy him.
But with a kiss on the top of her head, Wyatt did what Kate would have had a hard time doing. “Time to go, Kate”, he said, then gave her one last big squeeze and let her go. “I’ll see you again soon, don’t worry.” He winked at her as he said this, opening her door for her. He made sure she was in, then shut her door and headed back around to his side of the car. Kate rifled through her purse for her keys, tossing the bag on the passenger seat after she found them. She started the car and rolled down her window, wanting to say one more goodbye, but he was already gone. She sat there just a minute before pulling out and heading back to her place. Man, he was quick when he put his mind to it.
Luckily for her she didn’t live far, because she was getting pretty tired. As she pulled up in front of her house, she put parked the car and checked the time on her phone: 3:10am. “Crap!” She got out of the car and ran up the stairs to her front door, jamming the key clumsily in the slot and finally managing to get the door open. The lights were off but the TV was still on. “Sorry I’m so late, hon“, Kate said as she shut the door behind her.
Sunday, August 30, 2009
She didn't know why she was so nervous as she watched the first of the lyrics pop up on the screen above the bar. This was her signature song: she knew it by heart, and it was always a hit whenever she sang it. But the time for second guessing her choice had passed, and so she jumped right in with her nearly perfect falsetto of Prince's "Kiss", to the excited hoots and hollers of the other people in the bar, some of whom stopped in thEir tracks and turned to look at her after the first few high pitched notes.
She leaned back a little when she went to hit those extra high notes, even though she could probably hit them in her sleep. She grinned a shy little grin as she watched the reaction of the crowd, and proceeded to bring the house down with the end of the song, reaching way up to hit those classic Prince pitches. She went out with a bang, then simply replaced her microphone as the crowd applauded and screamed with glee. She gave them a joking little half bow and made a speedy retreat to her booth. "Thank you, Heather!" was the cadence she sped to, but the KJ's next introduction was lost in a foggy jumble as he came back into view.
His beaming face practically sang to her, and even though she could tell the intro to the next song had begun, she could see that he was clapping for her, shaking his head in a combination of awe and disbelief. She brushed off the non-verbal compliment and bit her lower lip as she plunked back down into her spot.
Brushing that same pesky hair back behind his ear, he leaned back and just stared at her. She could only take so much of his pensive gaze. "What?" she asked, playfully impatient. Shaking his head, he simply said "Wow." 'Really? That's all you've got?' she found herself asking herself. As if he knew her very thoughts, he elaborated. "I had no idea that Prince was really a cute chick with red hair and freckles. Guess you can hide a lot inside a purple velvet suit."
They both shared a laugh at his ridiculous idea, and then she remembered something. She and her friends used to sing karaoke at sports bar where they practically owned the rotation. It was their Thursday night place, and the bartender knew them as regulars. He was quite a character, and a bit of a flirt, but what bartender isn't. So one night, she had gotten up to sing "Kiss", which was of course a big success. Afterward, she walked over to the bar to get herself a drink. The bartender met her across the bar and said, "I gotta tell ya, I'm a little turned on right now. That was hot." She thanked him with a laugh and went back and told her friends about his compliment. "I think I finally found how to tell when I've found the right guy for me: he'll get hot when I sing Prince!"
She laughed a little harder remembering that one, trying her best not to apply that criteria to this stranger sitting across from her. Then she saw it. His eyes sparkled with a hint of intrigue, but then there was the tiniest hint of sadness in them. If she hadn't been looking so intently into them all night she might not even have noticed, but she did. It was almost as if some secret part of him was hurting for some reason.
Stop reading too much into things, she reminded herself, as she let her mouth draw back into an even bigger smile than the one she was already wearing; a smile that, if he was paying attention, might have
told him more than she should have let on.
She was getting ready to ask him about his next song when Dana the bartender showed up with a couple fruity looking drinks. I started to protest, seeing as how I hadn't ordered any drinks. "I know you didn't order these, but he did." She winked at him as she set the drinks down and sached back and forth with ease through the crowd, back to her spot behind the bar.
"What's this?" she asked, swishing the colorful concoction around with her straw and giving the drink a sniff. "Just try it. I have a feeling you'll like it" was his response. Grabbing his equally fruity drink, he pulled out the straw and tossed it aside, taking a good healthy swig from his glass. It did look and smell delicious, so she took a drink.
He waited until she clearly had a mouthful of the stuff to tell her "You're having Sex with an Alligator right now." She unsuccessfully tried to stifle a laugh, but managed to suck some of her drink down the wrong pipe. A nice, embarrassing coughing jag ensued as he watched, laughing despite his best efforts to refrain. A little stream of drink had managed to work its way down her nose, but as she went to wipe it away he, with napkin in hand, beat her to it.
"I'm sorry. I really had no idea you would be that amused." A truly apologetic smile graced his face, but he couldn't hide a little snicker. She rolled her eyes at him playfully. "Fantastic. Another wonderfully embarrassing moment in your presence. Lucky me…"
"Lucky me" he corrected gently, leaning in almost impossibly close, catching her gaze long enough for the sparkle in his eyes to tango just a moment with the glimmer of hope in hers.
Her rate started to race as she imagined he might be planning to do something else (which would make for one of the most memorable nights she'd had in far too long). Just then, however, the voice of the KJ broke into their moment to ask "Is he still here?" over the sound system.
"Gotta go. That's your surprise." He once again flashed that brilliant smile of his. "Don't go anywhere."
She watched him hustle up to the front and whisper something to the KJ. And then the song began.
No way. She couldn't believe it.
His voice, a little rougher, but still pitch-perfect broke out.
"Oh-oo darling…" She loved this song!
"…please believe me…" Oh, I want to, she thought.
"…I'll never do you no harm…" Of course you wouldn't.
She smiled at her own little mental retorts, smiling even bigger when she saw him pacing his way over to their booth, stepping to the swanky beat of the music.
'Total coincidence that he picked this song' she reassured herself. But she couldn't help but think of it as some sort of sign. Of what, she didn't know, and she didn't really put much stock in signs anyway. Still, she read so much into the words that he was now singing from one knee directly in front of her.
"Oh-oo darling…" Yes?
She brought a hand up to her chin, a tiny bit embarrassed by all of the hoots and attention they were getting, but thrilled at the same time that he was giving his to her.
"…please believe me…" I really want to.
"…I'll never le-et you dow-ow-oon…" Sigh.
She watched him in wonder, amazement and adoration as he belted out the last round of lyrics, really playing it up for everyone, but especially her. And it was there again, those two somethings: the one that told her he was interested and ready to learn more, and the other that spoke of the hidden hurt she couldn't imagine.
His eyes shone so bright, were so full life, as he came to the end of his song. His voice could probably do whatever he wanted it to, she figured, as he hit every tough note throughout the song. As he got to the last note he stood up, took her hand in his and held it to his chest.
That note could have lasted forever and she would have been a-ok. His hands were perfect, and seemed to fit perfectly over hers. She thought she felt the slightest quiver as he held her close like that. Was he nervous? She looked up from their entwined hands as he finished and caught him staring down at her. Everyone was cheering with such gusto that he let her go, gave her a wink and gave everyone else a sweeping, exaggerated bow before walking away to return his microphone.
At the moment, another familiar sound of a cowbell broke through all the ruckus of the busy bar. Could it be that late already? "Last call people" Dana shouted from behind the bar, and the KJ picked up the cue and announced last call again over the p.a. system.
"What's wrong?" he asked as he plopped down beside her this time, taking a chug of his newly acquired water. "I can't believe it's last call already." "Oh, that. Why, ya didn't get all your drinking in?" he joked. She turned to face him and raised an eyebrow, best she could muster, anyway, and he chuckled at her effort.
"Not it at all. I've just… had a really good time tonight." It was his turn to be taken aback a bit this time, and he smiled as he looked down at his cup of water, playing with the ice cubes. "Me too."
Monday, August 24, 2009
With one finger pressed against her ear, her free hand flipped through the pages of the immense song book, looking for her next song as she silently prayed for all she was worth that the monotone and off key version of 'Cracklin' Rosie' would be over soon.
Jewel… Natalie Merchant… Natalie Imbruglia… Prince (why not?). All of these jumped to mind as she scanned the pages. She was always looking for something new to sing that she might be able to pull off with some tiny bit of success.
Then she heard it.
She still had her finger pressed tightly against her ear when she realized that the cracklin' crooner had finally finished his less than stellar performance, and had been replaced by a voice she hadn't heard before. Not at this place, anyway. Being a regular haunt of hers she knew by sight and sound all of the regulars and even some of the not-so regulars. He was new for certain. And there was something in his voice that made her look up from the book and turn to face him.
He wasn't singing a dark, angsty, throaty metal song, nor was he singing some saccharine, forlorn, heart-wrenching ballad. In fact, he was singing some crazy Adam Sandler song, an inappropriate one at that. So she did manage a little chuckle while everyone else was laughing hysterically, but that certain something, that hint, that tone in his voice that held her attention didn't allow for more than that.
As he stood there holding the microphone, belting out those comical and crude lines, really playing to the ever-increasing crowd, all she could do was stare at that dark haired man. A little disheveled (but in all the right ways), his gestures and his smooth voice seemed to flow from him almost effortlessly. He could have been relaxing on the couch watching TV, or sleeping, even, for all the effort he appeared to be putting into this performance. It just seemed second nature to him.
It wasn't until she heard the rip-roaring applause and shouts of approval that she realized he had finished his song, or that she had been staring so intensely at him that she had half crushed her poor little water cup. She shook her head and released the grip of her now cramping fingers and looked up to see the KJ giving her a strange, part creepy, part flirtatious look. Feeling a little embarrassed (he must have mistaken her stares as directed at him, the poor fella) she immediately stood up and turned away, grabbing the mangled cup and making a bee line for the trash can. Not the most glorious getaway, but she needed a breather.
She tossed the cup in the trash and started to make her way back to the booth she had taken up when she noticed that he was the one watching her now. Her eyes met his just long enough for her to see a little smile cross his lips, and to feel her face grow distinctly warm. She quickly looked straight ahead to her destination and quickly plopped herself down in her seat, more grateful than ever that the back of the booth rose well above her head, giving her just the cover she needed to bury her head in her hands in embarrassment.
The booth shook slightly under the weight of some presumptuous patron who clearly didn't see that she was sitting her and obviously not looking for company.
"Are you done with that?"
She clearly recognized his voice. What was he doing? Had he come to confront her about her inglorious episode of unabashed ogling? A dozen other unpleasant possibilities popped into her head and she steadfastly held her head-in-hands position, thinking that maybe if she didn't look up, he would just… you know, go away. But there was a playful hint in his tone, and his voice held that same mystical power that she couldn't resist. Okay, so maybe it wasn't mystical, but something about it practically forced her eyes to look upon him.
Not that it was an unpleasant thing in the least. His eyes were this amazingly deep, dark brown. Chocolaty, velvety, almost black, they sparkled full of life and laughter; a laughter that only moments later rang in her ears as she came to realize she was, once again, staring uncontrollably and unfailingly at this ruggedly handsome stranger.
"I-I'm sorry…" she stammered as she put one hand up in between them and used the other to shield her eyes, rubbing her temples as if she were trying to massage away the hold he had over her. "Here you go, I'm through with it." She pushed the book in his general direction without looking up from the table or out from beneath her shielding hand. Chuckling at her peculiar display of possible insanity, he reaches out for the book, but at precisely the right moment so that his hand brushes gently but purposely across the top of hers.
There was something electric in his touch, breaking her no eye contact resolve, and she almost instantly brought her face up to look at his. His face is turned up in this smile that could melt the polar ice caps, and his eyes were dancing in the dim light of the bar. She couldn't help but smile back. His expression was infectious. Before she knew it, she heard herself laughing out loud: at the whole situation, but mostly at herself. He joined in almost immediately, and the more he laughed, the more she laughed and pretty soon they had garnered more than their fair share of looks from the curious folks at some of the nearby tables.
A welcome break in their laughter gave her the chance to relax, take a few deep breaths and refocus her mind on acting a little less insane. Once she centered herself, she was able to look on him because she wanted to, not because she felt drawn to.
"I really am sorry. I have NO idea what my problem is tonight."
"Too much to drink?" he offered up with a wink and a smirk.
"No-o-o, I haven't, thank you!" she smiled back at him. "If I do drink, it's usually only one or two, and I am not that much of a lightweight." With that he gives a little laugh and looks down at the monstrous book in front of him, scanning the pages looking for his next crowd pleaser.
"So what's your next one gonna be?" Relaxing more and more into this situation, she leans forward and tries to guess at what song he might be planning to choose. But with one swift movement he brings a nicely toned forearm out in from of him, hiding the song list from her view, even scooting the book closer to his chest so that she really has no chance of reading what's written on the cramped pages.
"It's a surprise." With a sly little quirky smile he went back to his search.
She sat back in her spot and watched him for a moment or so, then crossed her arms. What is it about this guy, she thought to herself as she watched him search relentlessly through the endless catalog of songs. His skin was a nice, smooth shade of light brown (or was it just the dim lighting?) and his dark hair was pulled neatly back into a ponytail. It wasn't incredibly long, but when pulled up it did fall just past the nape of his neck. A few strands hung loosely out of place in front of his face, she noticed, as she watched him adeptly sweep them back behind his ear. He was wearing a gray t-shirt with the name of some band she had never heard of on it, and his arms, as she had noticed before, were very nicely toned. Quite muscular, actually. And the way the light in the bar hit them at that particular moment she made a mental note that they would be really interesting to draw. She smiled at that thought, and just as he happened to look up from his search.
"What's that for?" he asked as he slammed the book closed and leaned forward across the table, his lovely arms, all sinewy and strong bristling under the strain of his movement.
"Oh… nothing." He raised one eyebrow at her in her in disbelief. "Yeah, sure… nothing." He moved to get up from the booth, and she started to ask where he was going when he turned to her and said "It's a surprise, remember?"
She settled back down in her sit as, with a quick wink he assured her "I'll be right back" and made his way easily through the sea of partygoers to put in his next song. She smiled as she watched him, and thought about that old pick-up line 'I hate to see you go, but I love to watch you walk away.' Now I know exactly what means, she said aloud to herself. No one could hear her anyway.
It really was a fantastic view. He wore a faded pair of dark blue jeans that fit him oh-so well. That butt of his looked glorious, she thought, and laughed at herself and her crude observation. His thighs were strong and muscular, barely contained within the confines of his jeans (she had an eye for this sort of thing). The drape of his shirt revealed great potential for a nice pair of pecs lying just underneath, as well as a quite possibly perfect set of abs. With all this going for him, by her guesstimation anyway, she couldn't fathom why this attractive, interesting, and clearly talented creature had chosen her table to visit.
It's because you were staring at him like some lovelorn, horny or possibly insane crazy person was the thought that echoed through her head, and with that she laughed out loud again.
"You must have a lot of nothing going on in your head." Chills, the good kind, ran down the back of her neck and her arms got all goose pimpled at the simultaneous arrival of his silky words in her ear and the warmth of his breath so close to her neck that it practically fell moist on her skin. It really caught her off guard, and she replied "If you only knew" in a bit of a hurried and hopefully undetectably breathless response.
He cocked his head a little and crossed his arms as he looked at her with a amused grin, seeming to try and figure out what all her 'nothings' might consist of. That nonverbal exchange was all the confirmation she needed that she had him hooked, at least for the time being.
"So!" He burst out, almost as much to break his trance as hers, "when and what are YOU singing?" That same playful look came across his face and she smiled back "It's a secret." They both laughed and leaned in to each other, relaxing into their peculiar situation more and more as they voice across the speakers blurted out "And now, for the lovely vocal styling of Heather!"
"Oh! That's my cue!" She pushed herself up from her seat at the booth and headed toward the microphone.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
tell you how I feel
I wish that things could somehow change to
make what can't be, real
My words don't ever seem enough, nor
do they have a place
I shouldn't say these things at all, what you
read on my face
I don't know why it happened, why I just
can't let it go
Or why I feel I have the right
to even let you know
If I could take and trade it all, and
give it all away
To someone who might better suit,
who I might have someday
I don't know, part of me would love to
take that chance and see
The other part, however's glad that this
is you and me
'Cause even though our time has been
so short and barely known
This thing inside (i'd say my heart)
has almost overgrown
So much as passed between us, and yet still
so much has not
The honesty, the words we share,
more than we should have thought
But how do you not feel what comes and
makes itself so known
Without an effort - nothing more than
friendship being sown?
Oh, I could write forever and I'd still
be saying the same
All talk about this feeling, how I wish
you felt the same
But I know where you stand and where
you can't let yourself go
And, though it doesn't hurt me, it does
something when I know
that something's there between us that
we'll never get to feel
Something that, for me, seems maybe
too good to be real
You'll never hear me say that I am
sorry I found out
I'll never feel bad knowing what my
fuss was all about
Because, if nothing else, I will have
held a thing so near
And even if 'twas only me the
mem'ry will be near
A sign, a glimmer... hope, of what great things
to me might come
That there might be, for me, what's already
happened for some
For if in you, not mine to have,
I've won a second glance
Then maybe there's someone out there
with whom I'll have a chance
My greatest hope that I can have
is that I'll find some you
within whatever man comes round
that fancies me a lil too
The You that speaks such truth with the
abandon that we do
The You that showed your self to me
sooner than 'customed to
The You that thinks I'm 'something else'
(of course in a good way)
The You that likes and yearns to hear
the things I have to say
The You that tries so hard to fight
for things that mean the most
The You who's strayed but managed to
come back from being lost
The You who isn't perfect, and the You
who's a big kid
The You who's never let, from me,
a single thing lay hid
To me you are so much of what
I hope one day to find
Your heart; the You you try to be;
the love you show; your mind
If you don't mind, I think I'll keep you close, my quite dear friend
And pray that we'll continue this... until the very end
Sunday, February 15, 2009
For anything. (Thaht's a fahct!)
Yes, I am a mom. Some might think that automagically equips me with some sort of patience. I, however, beg to differ. But... I digress.
I have no patience for the thing that I desire most. Why oh why must I be ever-increasingly bombarded with examples of the very thing I hope to find?
I am not a content single person. I have tried to be... I think. But even if I haven't whole-heartedly tried, I still can't imagine I would have succeeded. I have too much to offer and too much that I want to give to the man that will have me to sit around while one after the other passes me by. I can deal, for the most part, with guys who don't want to date me, either after getting to know me or even before they do.
What I canNOT deal with, however, is the men that come along that get me for who I am.
Like me for who I am.
Enjoy me in all my obstinance, flambouyance, unique and ridiculous ways.
Say I'm the bee's knees, the coolest thing since sliced bread, a downright amazing person.
And let me go.
Or, my personal favorite, are already with the woman of their dreams.
As much as I enjoy the compliments, the companionship and the friendships that inevitably erupt from some of these situations, what gets harder and harder to swallow is the fact that yet another amazing man is (not-so) incredibly NOT mine for the asking.
And sad. Did I mention how sometimes sad it is for me to see a man with all (or many) of the qualities I hope to find lavishing the woman of his dreams with those qualities instead of me? No, wait... that sounds covetous. Let's see if I can rephrase. Because I don't want to be a homewrecker, or to steal what someone else has been blessed with.
I want my own happily ever after. With my very own man, who loves me for all that I am, good or bad, and who will fight through all of his better judgement to keep me and our marriage strong. I don't want a man who can read my mind, just one who will be bold enough to ask me what's on it when he senses something's amiss. I want a man who loves me enough for who I am that he can help me move toward being the best me that I can be. I want a man who sees in me not someone who will complete him and make him whole (because only God can do that), but sees in me someone who will compliment his life and make his journey whole, as much as he will do for me and mine.
So, patience or no patience, this whole meeting/dating/befriending/whatevering men who continue to possess (and in newer and greater depths) these important qualities that I hope to one day find in the man who will marry me... is starting to wear on me.
Part of me wonders, no, actually thinks, that I would be better served by not meeting these men at all. I mean then, at least (and in theory), I wouldn't know what I was missing...
So... I'm done with this random introduction. I'll be back soon, though. Life has dealt me some interesting cards as of late, and I need to speak of these things...
Until next time...